Insomnia, my current muse.

So here I am in the wee hours of the morning, sitting on the floor, in front of a computer monitor that is also on the floor, in a house I no longer own but have arranged to keep possession of until Sunday.

The professional moving truck loaders The Alpha had over here yesterday afternoon worked some serious Truck Tetris (one of the many times The Alpha and I talked during loading, he called simply to say, "This truck is a friggin' TARDIS!") to get the vast majority of our earthly belongings co-located in the 26-foot cargo area of a Guess-Who-Hauls-It truck. I'm certain it wouldn't have all fit in there without the professionals doing the loading. Thank goodness we hired them, even if we're driving it ourselves.

I flew down this evening... er, yesterday evening. It's strange to be able to so plainly see that this house we've lived in for a decade isn't our home any longer. I found this statement over at Inner Dorothy. She was making an analogy to the church, but talking about her real childhood home in doing so:

"I had zero trouble walking away from that house. Because everything about it that mattered was etched permanently on my heart. It did not exist within those walls. It was time for someone else to create their own memories there. I was taking mine with me."

Sunday -- that is, technically, tomorrow -- I hope to be able to say and feel the same thing.

(And maybe it helps just a little that the same day I bought the new house, I also ordered the same tile we installed last year in the one we have now sold. Yes, aesthetics do matter.)

* * *

I'm a list-maker. I make one every morning when I begin my workday, or sometimes even start a new one at the end of the previous day. If I need to clear my head, I write a list of what's in there and have the satisfaction of being able to transfer the anxiety surrounding those items to the paper (or phone screen) upon which they're written.

But I want to get a jump on today's list, and it's just not possible. It's 3:30 in the morning. The places I need to go aren't open. It's nowhere close to time for the appointments I've made. The noise I might need to make to get other things done isn't acceptable when my husband is sleeping in the next room.

In 48 hours, I expect to have my family of four (four feet and eight paws) reunited in its own living space, and all four of us fast asleep. At least, I hope that's how it goes. I expected to be fast asleep right now, yet here I am.

It's been three months, this juggling phase of life. I'm ready to begin the new chapter in earnest. As much as I hate leaving where we are, I'm eager to get rooted somewhere again. Now that we know exactly where that somewhere is, and we have the keys to it, and are already receiving mail there, I'm hoping the roots we're returning to there will grow deep and healthy.

And that there will always be a nice big, sturdy branch, with roots to match, hanging over a good-sized portion of Texas.

Yikes at all the stuff happening.

- Our Texas house is under contract, with a closing date of October 21.
- We got the inspection report, and the buyers' requests aren't that bad. Still, I'd love if they were already resolved.
- We think we found a house in Capital City. We're so picky that we are making an offer on a cheaper house than what we could actually afford; one that will need immediate updating, so we can spend some money on updating right away.
- This house, if it is the house, is 400 square-feet smaller than our previous one. On purpose. All that talk at Heifer Ranch of how much is enough really got to The Alpha--and to me, too, even though I didn't actually get to go.
- And right now, this house has got some craptastic walls in the kitchen and bathrooms! I foresee more bouts with tendinitis, triggered by hours spent covering up very not-us wallpaper with Sheetrock mud and a putty knife.
- I wish I'd taken a picture of the Spongebob toilet seat. Another day, perhaps.
- Our backup options... well, we haven't agreed on a backup option. So I hope we don't need one.

Dogstuff

Sitting at the airport waiting for my flight to training in MethoVaticanCity, so I thought I'd blog (hooray for free wi-fi at LIT terminal!). This morning was absolutely lovely, and I thought the dogs deserved some more time outside than just their hurry-up-run-and-pee-get-back-in-here-you-have-no-fence-no-don't-run-after-that-rooster-and-don't-eat-that-whatever-it-is-and-don't-even-PRETEND-to-go-toward-the-road experience that's currently their typical trip outdoors.

I gave them each separate trips outside so I only had to worry with watching one dog at a time.

Tuesday chose to waller in the cool grass under the shade tree:

Angus did his share of wallering, too, and then he and I had a nice play session with his bluebell (he's still great at attempting to fly after it as it sails through the air):

I love my dogs. The Alpha's parents are really great -- they take excellent care of the dogs whether I'm there or not, so I'll have no worries about them while I'm in MethoVaticanCity. But I'm praying for a house sale soon, so I can choose their next fenced backyard and be able to let them out without guarding their every move.

If I had a house right now...

If that house were in Texas, and not for sale, it would have a 100-pound husky in it tonight.

And if that house were in Little Rock, it would've had a strange little puppy in it after lunch today.

Every week I get the email updates from the Suburbia city shelter. It's how Crystal and Poohbert came to be our foster dogs. They've had some pretty good weeks recently, with all animals getting adopted or rescued instead of euthanized. One week they didn't even have to put any at all on the urgent list. But it looks like this week the streak may end. The last email I got still included quite a few dogs and cats looking for homes. Among them: Diamond, a large Husky about 7 years old who was owner surrendered, adopted, and then returned because he didn't get along with the family's cat.

Like I said, if my Texas house weren't on the market, it would have a Husky in it by now. Instead, he will probably die tomorrow morning (they gave the animals an extra day because of the holiday weekend, but with the tropical storm, folks haven't been getting out in the rain to adopt).

And at lunch today, two of my co-workers introduced me to a place to procure a yummy milkshake. It's out of our way, and not in the best area. As we were getting out of the car to place our order at the walk-up window, one of my co-workers said, "That's a cute puppy."

"Where?" I asked, and he pointed behind the dumpster. Then the little black-and-tan somethingorother (part cocker spaniel, we think) came over to visit with all three of us. I wore sandals today, which meant I got a complimentary toe-licking with my puppy visit.

Puppy was a boy. No collar, and obviously no fence keeping him safe. I told my co-workers that if I had a house, I'd inquire with the lady at the window, and if she didn't know who Puppy belonged to (or if who he belonged to didn't plan on providing any better care than letting him wander) we'd be picking up the pup along with our milkshakes and dropping him off at my house before we went back to the office.

As it stands, though, I couldn't help. I hate not being able to help. At the same time, given the long-term fostering I did this spring, I realize I could easily get stuck with another dog or two for an indefinite amount of time.

But I still want to help.

---

UPDATE: Just got the final email for today. All dogs but one have been rescued, and we believe that one has a rescue group interested. Several cats still left, though... which is sad, but makes me powerless to help because of my allergy.

Friday Five: Storms of Life Edition

Over at RevGalBlogPals, Martha writes...

I'm listening this morning for word of Hurricane Earl. Is he coming to visit, or will he bypass my part of Maine and move further Downeast, or veer toward Nova Scotia? Should I buy those bottles of water, just in case wind brings branches and power lines down? And how many times will the tracking map change today?

Herewith, a Friday Five about the storms of life:

1) What's the most common kind of storm in your neck of the woods?
Though I'm taking today off and hanging out in lightly-tornadic Texas today, I've spent the last month living back in my home state, a.k.a. Tornado Country. We can't claim to be the home of Dorothy Gale, but I can say about a mile of the drive between my in-laws' house and my office looks dramatically different than it did before the twister came through several years back.

2) When was the last time you dealt with a significant power outage?
Been a while. But the most recent one I was part of that lasted several days took place surrounding my sister-in-law's wedding, almost 10 years ago (thanks to an ice storm, not a tornado). The church had power, some relatives a mile or two away had power, but my in-laws' house did not. I remember helping my mom-in-law make punch by flashlight and sending gallon jugs of it over to spend the night in an aunt's freezer. The powdered ingredients floated in the flashlight beams, and the morning of the wedding, we awoke to a film of red punch dust covering every surface in the kitchen.

3) Are you prepared for the next one?
Not particularly. The Alpha usually keeps either a 24- or 72-hour pack in the hall closet, but the house is on the market. We've cleaned out a lot of stuff. His car does have an electrical outlet, though, so if we ever lose power in a widespread area, we can run some things as long as we conserve gas and batteries.

4) What's the weather forecast where you are this weekend?
"Today: Decreasing cloudiness and windy. High 87F. Winds NNE at 20 to 30 mph. Tonight: Partly cloudy skies. Low 61F [whoohoo!]. Winds NNE at 10 to 15 mph. Tomorrow: A mainly sunny day. High 89F. Winds E at 5 to 10 mph."

5) How do you calm your personal storms?
Talking things out with trusted friends usually helps. Just telling the story of whatever storm it is to someone who understands can make an enormous difference.

Changes

Lots of changes lately. I've followed the dogs to their temporary digs; we're living with The Alpha's parents until further notice. New job seems to be off to a good start. The Alpha is all alone back in Texas, keeping our house up to show-quality status. I hope it doesn't take that much longer to sell. Seriously. Not having a timeline for getting settled is probably the worst thing about this whole transition.

And, so we could have some photographic evidence of change, I took the Tueser to be groomed. First time I've done that for any dog, but she was shedding something fierce, and in a house where she's a guest. Behold, The Summer Cut!

Friday Five: Love the One You're With

For this week's RevGals Friday Five, Kathrynzj posted something quite timely for me:

"...name five things you like about where you are living now... and as your bonus - 1 thing you don't like."

Timely because tomorrow, I'm packing the car and officially beginning life back in our home state. My new job starts Monday. The Alpha and I will live apart until the house is sold and we find one there that suits us.

So the answers to this Friday Five would be very different if I played a day late. But, living in the present, here we go:

1) I like having The Alpha with me. I'm not happy about him hanging out here, with me hanging out there (albeit with the dogs, at his parents' house... it's some consolation). So I just added Billy Joel's "You're My Home" to my iSuperPhone's iThing, which should help me maintain the appropriate amount of melancholy during this temporary separation of unknown duration.

2) The congregation we've called home these past 10 years. Last Sunday I said goodbye to the band and choir. And yea, verily, that sucked, even though it went as well as it could've and it created great memories. I scheduled a Wednesday night diversion this week, the first week I wasn't supposed to be at practice. After I got home from the dinner, I received a text message from a fellow bandmate... "Leaving rehearsal- it's official: we miss you." *sigh...* I miss them, too.

3) Our house. We've worked pretty hard on it. We've made lots of changes in 10 years. It feels like ours now, even when it's all clean and neat for real estate showings and we have to hide the towels we actually use instead of drying our hands on the ones hanging up.

4) The convenience of living near a big city.

5) The friendships we've built here, and which we hope to preserve across the distance.

And, for the bonus... I think, in the interest of making the separation easier, I'll list more than one thing I don't like: The traffic. The shifting soil. The governor. The way developers keep bulldozing over unspoiled land to build strip malls, even though existing storefronts stand empty. The air pollution. I could go on.