Monday, March 28, 2011

11th birthday

Cub, on her first day in our family.

If she were still alive, she'd be 11 years old today.

Sometimes I have a hard time believing I miss a dog this fiercely.

It's even a made-up birthday: our best guess counting back her age in estimated weeks, combined with a day significant in other months of the year. But here I am, crying about my dead dog on her made-up birthday.

Recently, I've seen car magnets shaped like a paw print, with the words "Who Rescued Who?" in the center. I wondered that about Cub and me long before anyone was selling it as a slogan. In the end, I couldn't rescue her from liver disease. Nobody could.

I'm really hoping my eyes aren't puffy in the morning. I have an optometrist appointment, and I can hear it now:

"Are your eyes always this irritated?"

"No, I just spent last night crying over my dead dog."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. When did it happen?"

"Three years ago."

**blink blink**

November of 2007 in Eureka Springs... the last "fun trip" we took with both dogs.

Angus hasn't been the same since she died. When Cub was here, he knew his place: back of the pack. He was content with it, and it worked well for everyone. Cub was his rock. Now, he doesn't know where he stands. We were hoping that when we adopted Tuesday, he would make her his beta or, failing that, accept her as his alpha, but neither scenario worked. They get along pretty well, but he won't play with her. He's kinda cranky.

I've heard that there's that dog for every dog person. The one dog who will always be elevated above all others, canonized, sainted, crowned The Best Dog That Ever Was.

I hope there's just one, because I don't plan to quit being a dog person, and there's only so much of this I can take.


Karla Miller said...

love and prayers for your grief. I get it.

RevAnne said...

Has it been 3 years? Wow.
Which means it's been almost 5 for me and the giant cat. Wish I could say that you'll eventually get over it. Memories of Otis still move me to tears.
The WonderMutt is Ben's 2nd Best.Dog.Ever. though...I think there can be others.
Special snorgles to the Boy today, and hugs for you.
And isn't it random--I see the optometrist today too. I shouldn't have read this post!

DogBlogger said...

Anne, I didn't say a word about it to the optometrist... but I wound up taking home a sample of prescription allergy eyedrops.

My word verification is epimp. That's just funny, even if it is on a weepy post!

Songbird said...

Oh, my friend, I get it, too. (((you)))

Theresa Coleman said...

I get it. That dog for me was Bear -- and he died before I was in High School (long long time ago.)

And I had that cat, too. She's been gone just 2 years. But you learn to love another, even if you know your heart will be broken, again....

zorra said...


Michelle said...

Somehow I missed this post until just now. So sorry for your sadness. She meant so much to you and you were lucky to have her. She was lucky to have you too.

I love the two pictures you chose. Her baby puppy picture is adorable. And the second one just made me think of that song "My Buddy" from that creepy doll in the 80's. But I can just hear Angus singing it now. :P

DogBlogger said...

Angus as Beavis singing '80s jingles... wow... thanks for the giggle, Michelle!

Sue said...


I totally get it.